


Even lovers need a holiday

by Abbypd



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, side mashton
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-27
Updated: 2014-08-27
Packaged: 2018-02-15 00:53:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2209506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Abbypd/pseuds/Abbypd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Luke's feelings for Calum have faded.. That's basically it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Even lovers need a holiday

It wasn’t as if Luke didn’t love Calum anymore; off course he did. He loved the man with all his heart. He just wasn’t _in_ love anymore.  It felt as though Luke lived with his best friend rather than his husband. Sure, they kissed each other every day and they still had their weekly fuck-sessions, but it just didn’t feel right.

 

Their life had fallen into this rut where they kissed each other before heading for work and kissing each other once they were both home again. And then there were the good-morning and the good-night kisses and that was about it. Sex only occurred in the weekend when both men needed relief and there was nothing special about it, none of them even trying to spice things up anymore.

 

Luke was only twenty-six; the two of them had married young – almost seven years ago – and the blonde thought about their relationship more and more often. He wasn’t happy with Calum anymore and though he had thought he wanted to spend the rest of his life with the boy, he couldn’t imagine staying with him for another five years. It was not Calum’s fault, and he knew it wasn’t his either; they had simply grown apart.

 

Luke was lying awake, his husband sleeping softly beside him, his back facing the blonde. He had spent so many nights worrying the last eight months; he didn’t want to go on like this but he also didn’t want to lose his husband and best friend. The younger man had tried everything; he had spent days watching old photos and videos. He had watched the video of their wedding day at least once a month that year and he had cried every single time he saw it, saw the happiness on their faces and the love between the two of them. He wanted that love back. He really didn’t know when he had lost it, but it was gone. All the butterflies had died and his lips felt numb whenever they touched Calum’s.

Calum’s love had obviously faded too and for some strange reason, Luke was actually glad about that; at least he wasn’t the only one, at least he didn’t have to feel guilty for behaving the way he did.

 

Luke really wanted his love back, his Calum back but he had waited so long and the whole situation was only getting worse.

 

“Calum?” Luke softly tapped the back of his shoulder.

“Calum?” He tried again, louder this time.

“Yeah?” Calum didn’t even roll over to face him.

“Do you still love me?” the blonde knew he sounded like a whiny wife but he didn’t know what else to say, and he had to say _something._

“Off course I do.” The black-haired man now turned around, his eyes searching for where Luke was going with this.

“But are you still _in love_ with me?”

“Because though I love you very much, I don’t think I am anymore. I love you like a friend, a brother” he admitted

Calum’s facial expression didn’t change at all, and Luke knew he had seen this coming.

“Yeah, I guess things have changed between the two of us.” He muttered, both men not sure what to say.

“We’ll talk tomorrow, yeah?” Calum asked, and when Luke agreed by nodding his head, Calum kissed his cheek, showing him he really did love him still.

 

It took Luke two hours to fall asleep after that.

 

\---

 

The two men didn’t talk before they left for work and the day couldn’t go by any slower. Luke kept glancing at the clock in his office, keeping in mind that he was finally getting some clarity in just a few hours. It scared him, but it also sort off calmed him, knowing that after today, he didn’t have to worry anymore. Or maybe at least not as much as he did now.

 

Calum wasn’t home yet when Luke gets there and he’d get dinner ready, if his thoughts hadn’t been somewhere else. So he sat himself down on the couch and waited for his husband to come home. He spend his time thinking of something, _anything_ to say and about what it is he wanted but he honestly didn’t know. He really didn’t understand how his feelings for Calum – which had been very passionate once – had changed this drastically.

When he heard the front door open, he got up and hugged the raven-haired man, sighing heavily. Calum rubbed his back and didn’t let him go.

“Maybe we need a break.” The slightly older man spoke, his voice soft but determined.

“Maybe we shouldn’t see each other for one whole month, and figure out what we want.”

Luke nodded, his chin still on his husband’s shoulder.

“You can stay here, I’ll go to my mother.” The blonde said.

“I’m going to my parents too. I think it will be best for me not to stay in _our_ house.”

Luke nodded again. Joy and Liz lived over fifteen minutes away from each other, but they figured it was far enough.

“I’m going to call my mum, ask her if it’s okay if I come tonight.”

“Yeah, me too.”

 

 Luke was standing in front of his parents’ door about three hours later, a suitcase in each hand and a brooding look on his face.

“Oh baby.” Was all Liz said when she opened the door and wrapped her arms around her boy.

“Hi mum.” He sighed. He had never thought he’d ever sleep in this house again when he had left seven years ago.

Luke had already explained everything over the phone, so Liz didn’t ask anything.

She just sat him down with tea and cookies and started chatting about the neighbour’s dog being sick. Luke didn’t really listen. He thought about Calum, wondered what he and Joy were talking about right now, and though he knew the man would never do that, he was still afraid he was telling his mother all bad things about the blonde. Luke liked his mother-in-law a lot and he knew she’d never let Calum talk badly about him, but the two were on his mind, while his own mum still tried to distract him, his dad joining her later in the evening.

 

\---

 

It was really busy at the office and Luke was glad he had a lot to do, keeping his thoughts from his marriage. He even took work home, which worried his mum but pleased his boss very much. The days went by quickly that way, and if it weren’t for the lonely nights, Luke would’ve been perfectly fine on his own. He just couldn’t tell whether he missed _Calum_ or being with someone in general. That’s why he decided to go out that Friday. He went alone, something he hadn’t done in a long time.

 

He might’ve had a tiny bit too much to drink when he found himself on the dance floor, moving his hips in a sinful way in the hope someone was enjoying his little show. The blonde found a guy watching him from the bar soon enough, and he made his way over to him.

“So are you going to buy me a drink or were you planning on drooling over me all night?”

It was a weird kind of confidence talking, one that only occurred when Luke was drunk and could use a good fuck.

The man grinned up at the tall blonde and looped his arm around his waist to bring him close to his body.

“How ‘bout I take you home and you give me a private show?” the man hotly whispered into his ear.

“Sounds like a plan.” Luke spoke, his mouth already attached to the guy’s neck.

 

The two took a cab and the man’s hand was pressed against his crotch while they drunkenly kissed. Luke didn’t enjoy it at all; he used way too much tongue for his liking.

 

As soon as they entered the man’s apartment, Luke fell to his knees and removed the man’s pants and boxers. His mouth wasn’t even on the guy’s dick yet, and he was already moaning and Luke rolled his eyes before taking the unfamiliar dick into his mouth. The man was about the same size as Calum but it still didn’t feel right at all.

After a minute or five the man told him to get up, and Luke saw the stranger had already removed his own shirt, leaving him completely naked. He lied down on his bed. Luke crawled over to him, already feeling dirty and guilty but he still went on with it. The man pushed him down and undressed him, his mouth on his cock as his fingers were already opening up. Everything was going so fast but Luke figured that was normal for a one night stand. When Luke was ready, the man started thrusting into him, and though it felt amazing to have a dick hitting his prostate over and over with force, it still felt bad, for it didn’t mean anything; he didn’t even know the guy’s name for fuck’s sake.  

Whenever Luke closed his eyes, he saw Calum thrusting into him, mouthing an ‘I love you’ like he used to do in the beginning. The images disappeared every time the man let out a low growl, which sounded nothing like Calum’s sweet moans, but they kept coming back the entire time and Luke didn’t know what to think of that.

 

\---

 

When Luke woke up in a strange bed with a headache, it took quite a while to realize where he was and how he had ended up there. Next to him was the man from last night sleeping peacefully and the blonde didn’t fancy waking him up, so he didn’t.

He quietly grabbed his clothes, which were scattered all over the floor, got dressed and disappeared without leaving a sign he had ever been there. Luke usually didn’t do one night stands but he had been drunk and lonely and he told himself it wouldn’t happen again.

 

The next morning, he felt an arm wrapped around him and a body pressed against his own. He sighed, not happy with himself for letting this happen again.

Luke found out the man was already awake when he rolled over to see who he was dealing with. The man had black hair and his skin was darker than Luke’s own, and the blonde couldn’t deny he looked an awful lot like his husband; just like the man from the day before.

Luke didn’t know his name yet again, and he didn’t feel the need to find out.

“That was fun.” The man muttered, pressing his lips to Luke’s collarbone and it felt so wrong. Luke tried to move away, and when he succeeded, he got out of the bed and grabbed his boxers from the floor. The man watched him getting dressed from the bed, and Luke had never felt so uncomfortable in his life before.

“I need to go.” He mumbled when he had found all his belongings.

“Can I at least have your number?”

“I am married.”

“That didn’t stop you yesterday.”

“I was drunk.”

“Drunk actions are sober thoughts.”

“It’s drunk words, not actions. I never promised you my number or a date.”

The man huffed.

“Fine.”

Luke didn’t bother saying bye, nor did the other guy.

 

\---

 

Almost two weeks had passed and Luke still didn’t know what it was he wanted. He missed Calum but his feelings weren’t strong enough to act on it.

Luke kept sleeping around and he had over six guys in ten days and though he knew it wasn’t the right thing to do, he really couldn’t stop it.

His mum didn’t say anything about it off course, but he knew she knew where her son was whenever he wasn’t sleeping at her place.

 

Luke decided to go to Ashton and Michael, the second Friday night since he and Calum were on a break, to keep him from sleeping with even more random strangers.

Ashton opened the door wide for him, a pitying smile on his face Luke couldn’t appreciate at all. He knew his friend meant it well, but he really couldn’t use pity right now.

“Where’s Michael?” Luke asked, when he saw the house was empty.

“He’s with Cal.” The blonde looked at his friend as if he was sorry for even saying his name out loud but Luke didn’t respond.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Ashton eventually asked.

“Not really. Do you want to get drunk?” he asked in return.

“Off course.” Ashton chuckled, grabbing his coat and wallet before leaving the house.

 

His older friend took Luke to a bar he hadn’t visited in years, yet he knew exactly what it looked like from the inside. It was the bar he had met Calum for the very first time. He was a friend of Michael’s, who dated Ashton, Luke’s neighbour at the time and best friend.

Luke cursed under his breath when he realized Ashton was heading for ‘their’ booth, where he had been sitting the night he had met the man he was going to marry only three years later. He could remember it so well. Luke had been sitting at the exact same table, facing the door. His eyes had been on the raven-haired boy the moment he had walked in and Luke had watched how his eyes scanned the crowd, only to light up when he noticed Michael.

Luke had started to sweat when he found out that that boy was the one Ashton had been talking about, and he couldn’t take his eyes of him as he walked towards the three of them.

He had been smiling as he introduced himself to Luke and Michael hadn’t moved over to make room for the boy, so he didn’t have a choice but to sit next to Luke.

Ashton had admitted a few weeks later than Michael and he had been setting them up from the start. Luke still remembered everything they had talked about and how amazing that night had been; the butterflies he had felt from that very first day until they started dying one by one, only a few months ago.

“You okay?”

“I was just thinking about the first time you brought me here.” Luke told his friend.

“He’s not coming tonight, is he? ‘Cause if that’s your plan, I’m leaving right now!” He suddenly conceived, but Ashton shook his head.

“I’d never do that. You guys need time, that’s all.”

Luke didn’t respond. He wasn’t very sure if time was going to solve all this.

 

After a beer or five Luke finally allowed himself to talk about his husband with Ashton, who listened to his story quietly. Luke rambled on about how his feelings had disappeared and how he didn’t want to lose Calum but he couldn’t go on like this either.

“Are you still in love with Michael?” he eventually asked and Ashton nodded with a bright smile on his face.

“I love him to death. Seriously, I couldn’t go a month without him. I mean, sure, my feelings have _changed_ , but they didn’t disappear at all. You get used to each other but that doesn’t mean I don’t melt anymore whenever he looks me in the eyes or smiles at me, and I still get that tingling feeling whenever he kisses me.”

Well, that didn’t really help.

“Do you think it’s my fault?”

“What?”

“That I’m not in love with him anymore. Because most couples stay in love with each other until the day they die.”

“No. Those things happen. But I honestly believe you’ll get that back. You and Calum are perfect for each other, you belong together.”

“But how is our love real if we can both lose it this easily?”

“I’m no expert but I reckon every relationship has its ups and downs. Maybe you’re both really busy with other things, like work or whatever. Maybe you got used to each other too much and don’t appreciate being together enough anymore. In that case, you will miss him more and more over the next two weeks and you’ll appreciate him even more once you have him back.”

“I hope you’re right. I don’t want to lose him.”

“That’s a good sign, isn’t it?”

“Yeah…”

 

\---

 

Luke was pretty damn sure it was on purpose when he walked into the restaurant with his mum and dad that Sunday. It was the restaurant Luke had taken Calum on their very first date. He didn’t say anything about it though, he knew his mum only wanted to help him figuring things out. Their table was on the complete other side of the building and some things had changed but that didn’t stop Luke from thinking back to that day.

He had been so nervous that night. He had spent over an hour on his appearance, trying out at least five different outfits and making sure his hair looked perfect. He had picked Calum up, and the boy had looked absolutely stunning; Luke had been sure he was already in love with him even though he had only met him three times before.

The date hadn’t been awkward at all, they had talked all night and Luke had felt himself falling even harder whenever Calum smiled at him, squeezing his eyes shut as he did so.

Luke had brought him home around midnight and the raven-haired boy had kissed him on the cheek. It had been, apart from their wedding day obviously, the best day of his life.

 

Liz noticed his stares towards a certain spot in the restaurant and she followed his eyes to where an old couple was seated. She didn’t say anything, just smiled at her boy, knowing exactly what was going through his head. Luke sighed and looked down at his plate again, from which he hadn’t eaten much yet.

 

“You and Calum are soul mates Luke. I’ve always known that. You’ll figure this out.” His mother promised him when he told her he didn’t want desert, her hand grabbing his as her thumb caressed his soft skin.

Luke thought about Calum again, wondered if he was having difficulties getting through this month too. He probably did, why else would Michael have been with him the entire weekend?

 

\---

 

In the week that followed, Luke finally realized he missed Calum, and not just being with someone. He didn’t sleep around anymore, for he wanted no one but his husband. He missed him; his eyes, his smile, his laugh, the way he kissed and everything that made Calum who he was.

 

Luke was in his old room, listening to the song ‘I’m lost without you’ by Blink-182.

 

_Are you afraid of being alone?_

_Cause I am, I’m lost without you._

_Are you afraid of leaving tonight?_

_Cause I am, I’m lost without you._

 

Off course, Luke wasn’t actually lost without Calum and it wasn’t like he was all miserable without him, but that was only because he knew he’d get him back within a week now.

The only thing Luke was afraid of was Calum not getting his feelings back and not wanting his husband back.

His thoughts kept going back to all the amazing things they had ever done together and he wanted Calum back, wanted to do all those amazing things again. He wanted to go on dates with him again; he wanted to get to know his husband all over again. He felt like he was crushing on his love again, even though he hadn’t seen him in three weeks. He dressed up nice whenever he went out, hoping he’d see the raven-haired man somewhere. He really wanted to text him but he didn’t know what to say. He talked to Ashton and Michael over the phone almost every night, trying to figure out how Calum was doing. Ashton told him to just go to him if he really couldn’t wait anymore, but he was afraid Calum didn’t want to see him just yet.

 

\---

 

After two more sleepless nights, he finally decides to go to Joy in the hope to find his husband there.

 

“Luke! How nice to see you. Come in. Calum is not here though.” Joy beamed, stepping aside to let her son in law in, leaving him without a choice.

“So how are you doing?”

“I’m fine. For as far that is possible, that is.” He sighed, and Joy smiled fondly at him.

“You miss him, don’t you?”

“Yeah. I really do. I thought I wouldn’t actually, but I do.” He admitted and Joy’s smile only grew bigger.

“Calum feels the same way you know. He told me yesterday that all his feelings for you are back but he is still so scared.”

“Me too.” Luke smiled now, so happy to hear what the woman had just said.

 

They chatted for a little while, and when the phone rang and Joy stayed in the kitchen to talk, Luke decided to go upstairs, to the room he knew so well.

It hadn’t changed at all, except for the clothes that were hanging in the closet and the two empty suitcases under the bed. Luke sat down on the bed and looked around the room. He had spent so many hours in this room with his boyfriend and now he was sitting there with a ring on his finger and tears behind his eyes.

Their first kiss had been in this exact room and Luke had been sitting on the bed just like he was now. He had been so nervous and Calum was too, he had seen it in his eyes. It had been a bit awkward but as soon as he had felt the boy’s lips on his, all his thoughts had stopped and he had just enjoyed the moment. It had been completely perfect and though it had been short and without tongue, it was the best kiss Luke had ever had, because it was his first, and it was with Calum.

Luke felt one tear rolling down his cheek as he sat there. He didn’t understand his own feelings but he did know one thing: he needed Calum back.

A knock on the door was heard and Luke wiped the tear away with his sleeve. Joy walked into the room and sat down next to her son in law, throwing an arm around him.

“You know, Calum’s dad and I had the exact same problem a few years ago. Mali Koa was three years old and both my husband and I only stayed together for her, not because we loved each other. You said you still loved Calum as a friend but I couldn’t even stand being around my husband anymore. We split up for almost half a year and I took our daughter with me. I didn’t miss him at all, until I started recognizing him in Mali Koa, and I realized why I ever loved him in the first place. I didn’t tell him though; I was too scared to go back.

One day, I hadn’t seen him in six months, he showed up at my door with flowers and he asked me to go on a date with him. I said yes, and the date was amazing. We both hadn’t changed but it still felt like he was a complete different person and I fell in love with him all over again.”

The room fell silent for a second.

“What I want to say is: if it’s meant to be, it will be. Don’t force yourself to love your husband, because I know that doesn’t work. Your feelings will be back, and if not, then you’re both better off without each other.”

“My feelings _are_ back.” He spoke softly.

“I miss him so much.”

“Tell him.”

“How?”

“Call him, tell him you want to see him and tell him how you feel.”

Luke thought it over for a little while, before hugging Joy and going back to his parents’ house.

Once he was in his room, he dialled his husband’s number, pacing around the room as he waited for him to pick up.

 

_“Hi?”_

“Hi.”

…

“I miss you.”

_“I miss you too.”_

Luke knew - even though he hadn’t spoken to the boy in three weeks - that he was sad. He could tell by the sound of his voice.

“Can I see you tonight?”

_“Yes off course…”_

_“I wanted to call you, but I was scared.”_

“I know. Me too.”

“ _Can I pick you up around eight?”_

“Yeah. Where are we going?”

_“That’s a surprise.”_

“Okay. I’ll see you tonight than.”

“ _Bye.”_

“Bye.”

 

And that was it. Luke felt the butterflies in his stomach coming back to live, it felt as if he had just agreed to go on a first date. It was in some way.

 

Once Calum was standing in front of his house, all the awkwardness was gone, though the blonde was still nervous.

“Hi.”

“Hi.” Luke smiled, kissing Calum on the cheek, because even though he was his husband, he still didn’t know what was appropriate in this situation.

“Ready?”

“Ready.”

 

“Where are you taking me?”

“You’ll see.”

“You know I don’t like surprises.”

 “I know.” Calum smiled fondly at him, and once his eyes were on the road again, his hand found Luke’s, their fingers intertwining like they had done for years. Luke looked down at their hands, and he lifted them to kiss Calum’s, earning another smile. The blonde wanted to tell his man he loved him, but he wanted to wait for the right moment because he meant it. He loved him so fucking much, and he was so, _so_ happy his feelings for Calum were finally back, and this day couldn’t be more perfect.

 

Except it could. Luke recognized the parking lot immediately.

“This is _our_ park.” Luke said, as he followed Calum, their hands still interlocked.

“It is.” The raven-haired man nodded.

They walked towards _their_ bench in silence and they sat down, looking around before looking at each other.

It was the park, the bench where Calum had told Luke he loved him for the very first time. Luke had told him he felt the same only seconds later and Luke wanted to be the first this time.

“I love you.” He said, his eyes trained on Calum’s, making sure he knew he meant it.

“I love you so fucking much and I am sorry for the last couple of months, I really don’t know what had happened but I love you.” He added hastily, and he wanted to go on with apologizing but Calum grabbed his face with both his hands and he brought their lips together. Luke wanted to cry when he felt the sparks again. The kiss lingered, and once they broke apart, their foreheads stayed together.

“I love you too.”

Calum playfully kissed his lover’s nose.

“And please don’t apologize. I felt the same, my feelings were gone too, and I don’t understand it either but I love you, and that is all that counts. And I will make sure we’ll keep loving each other till the day we die.”

“I love you. I always will.”

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is really short and it could've been A LOT longer but I didn't have the inspiration and yeah.  
> I still kinda like it though, I hope you do too!
> 
> Talk to me/follow me on tumblr :) Abbypd.tumblr.com x


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